rainbow

after a yr or so.. i m finally penning the title of my blog.. the magnificant rainbow.

it is well known to all the the rainbow will ONLY appear after the rain.. which is how it has gotton its name.. (i hope i m not wrong :P)

at this juncture of my life, i feel very blessed as if i m the Father's only child.

He has bestowed onto me a wonderful husband and a cheerful baby. Boy, He answers prayer.. though caleb does not have his dad's dashing facial features BUT he has got an extremely cheerful disposition.

He has blessed me with a job. My colleagues here are generally v cordial and reserved. i dont see the ppl ard me herding in a "flock" and xchange the latest gossip in town and even possibly publishing a few pcs of rumours.


He has taken the fear out of my heart and He has been so kind and full of grace towards my family.

Oh Lord, the creator of heaven and earth, You are faithful, magnificant, kind, merciful, gracious, compassionate, sympathetic.. You are the bright morning sun and the shining star upon that dark skies.

Thank You Lord!

The rainbow is out.. hanging proudly on the blue skies with the clouds dancing and rejoicing :)

last blog here

this is the place which i dread.. honestly.. i wish i didnt have to be here.

nonetheless, i promise myself after this very LAST blog here, my future blogs will be full of joy and peace :)

EIGHT more days to a new land!!! i cant explain my eagerness and excitement.

over here, i learnt the most important lesson in my life which is what God says:- Be as shrewd as a snake and as innocent as dove.

rem the lil lamb who is friendly and all eager to help all others in the jungle. However, she was native to think that the lion is on her side. i mean, the lion has been eyeing her for the longest time ever and to attack and eat her up in HIS mind.

the lil lamb is nice to everyone whom she deals with. For those whom she dont really fancy, she keeps her distance away from them. BUT yet all are targeting to eat her up.

her heart has turned cold, tire and numb from all these. to be nice means to suffer at the hands of others.

as a result, the lil lamb has decided just to keep to herself. NOt that she is strong or whatsoever but cos this is her self defence.

well, not ALL are bad. thru the years, i have made myself some very valuable colleagues whom i foresee will remain with me till i go home to the Lord.

i wish to forget everything here.. empty the recycle bin as well.

i wanna be what i used to be and a light with the likeness of Christ :)

i m an ice berg

i got to know a pc of remark abt me recently.

tot it would be nice to blog it down so that i can read and laugh abt it later on in my life.

3 of my colleagues told one that they disliked me. WHY? was my response? why me? i didnt know lunch with them, dont even discuss about things with them? hav almost near 0 contact with them.

they said i was unfeeling, cold, rude and do not bother abt their feelings when i tok to them. HUH? i was??@@### i cannot even remember the last time i spoke to them on anything that might hurt their feelings.

BUT that is not the best part. The most exciting part was when they even asked that fren of mine why she liked me.

honestly, i tink i have succeed in making myself feel like an ice berg. Not just an ordinary one but one with an extremely deep and sharp portion sunk underneath the wide blue sea. i m dangerous.

they wont near to confront me on anything. They wont even dare to in any case "talk" to me.

then again, i asked myself if i had transformed from a sun flower to an ice berg. i remember all those times which i have been relational but my fingers were badly cut.

my usual chirpy self has left no trace in my current status. i dont want to talk to anyone here.. for fear that i may suffer any more blisters. i dont wanna get involved with them for fear that i might hear a whole new set of CNN sotries about my life.

well, isnt work just work. Work is transactional with no emotions attached.

the ice berg is still standing strong in the cold deep blue waters..

will it ever melt to receive the bright sun?

lost child

imagine a child who is wandering in a jungle filled with wild plants, trees and of cos vipers..

i m lost in that now. i lost the motivation i had months back. have got no idea how to re-motivate myself in the environment i am in now. thankfully, i still have access to msn, my consoler... haha...

well, am looking around for the way out in the jungle which i have been stuck for the last one year. it seems tough esp when the sky seems dim and i can hear the roars of vipers in the background.

why is it so difficult to find a place where i truey belong? is it only situated at home where Jesus belong? i m weary and tired but He said come, come to me, I will give you rest.

leaving on a jet plane

i wish i can leave on a jet plane... far away from where i m now. looking far away to a farm of my own with a lovely lil pond. a house made of red bricks with a red rooftop and a burning fireplace. a house which is only fill with laughters, joy and peace all year round.

Caleb has grown!

my lil one has grow. i dont think i ever have the right word to describe how i feel.

he smiles, throws tantrums, sleep, drink. My lil doll fits into those tiny lil shirts and diapers. i love to see the way he sleeps with both fists over this face.

i love him even though he cries and wails. I love the way he is being constructed and i than God for him in my life.

the feeling is so diff from having hammy. hammy cant interact with me but caleb can.

i give You my heart

my heart feels heavy and burdened.

work is siffening and unenjoyable. I dont know if i should continue to drain myself out in this manner. At home, the rainbow is slowly disappearing. Lord, unless You show me the way and give me Your strength, i m weary and dishearened. I am sure it hurts your heart to see Your child in a state like this.

I am giving it all up. I m just too heartbroken. The ones whom i love and have loved, do they understand? They DONT at all. HOw could they?

Lord, i m coming to You. Tired and weary, burdened and disappointed. You said You will give me rest and i stand firm by Your Word.