God's love

i was at the confectionary this mrg. i saw this lil boy in hi sch uniform queuing up to buy a slice of the spiderman cake.

boy, when i saw the lil one carrying a huge tray with a pc of the cake, i wish i could have held him in my arms and tell him that the cake is for him from me. i could see the gleam on his face even as he was carrying that slice of cake.

his granny was standing o/s the store so i didnt wanna alarm her unnecessarily. anyway, on my bus journey to work, it then dawned upon me that God's love for me is just like the love i am having for the lil boy and even much more.

God wants the best for me.. definately. He wished that i had followed the path which He had chosen for me.. He must have wished that i have taken a strawbeery cake instead of a chocolate one cos He know what is the best for me BUT He also gave me a free will. How gracious is He? He is so mericiful for when my free will fails me, He makes gd the consequences.

unfortunately so often, i forgot about Him completely letting my humman nature takes over what i m doing.

thus, i m sure that Father feels extremely let down by my actions.

Father, may i ask that You hold me in your arms.. never let me go and nev let my free will ruin the path You had planned for me. Amen

how to forgive and let go

i dont exactly have an excellent r/s with my mil. in actual, the moment she opens her mouth, nothing really gd comes out of it.

well, i have been married for the last 3 yrs... thank God that i dont have to stay with her under the same roof. life hasnt been ez.. really.. there were times when my bp really went up even after having breakfast with her.

after i was saved and i learnt abt God's word, oh man, i really tried to love her. But... everytime she passes a hostile remark, i wanna compose myself and not lose my top. Praise be to God, there are times where i actually forgave her and loved her.

however, i m not born sin free. i got angry, pissed and v disappointed with her at times too. God forgave me and redeemed me from my sins though i was very defiant, rebellious and hated Him.

am i in a position to judge others in my capacity then? m i supposed to hold my peace towards my mil then? am i supposed to be under the claws of her negative remarks then?

love.. this is indeed a v tough 4 ltr word. i wonder how i will be able to love her one day with all my heart and take all her remarks in my stride.

Lord, i cast the flaws in my character onto You. may You grant me peace of mind in my heart so that even words which are negative will be a positive strength for me. Father, forgive me in my areas which i m unable to forgive. Grant me that mercy of Yours so that i can behave like Jesus. a forgiving woman.

Lord, let me apply the lessons from Daniel that i be quick to listen even during adversity and slow to anger. Father, let the word anger never come near me. thank You for loving me who is so unworthy of Your love. Amen

my new domestic helper

i got a new domestic helper at home now and her name is "crystal auntie". Hehe, though shes only 28, she definately looks like my auntie :P

well, i got no complaints abt her... truely.. shes gd at her wk and most importantly, shes got a really kind heart :)

praise the Lord for His mercy and grace. I know that it is Him who sent her.. and He answered my prayer for a good helper.

nowadays, home is no longer housewk and stuff. in fact, i get time to watch my fav tv serial and chat with my loved ones. No more are the days whereby i feel stressed of juggling with hsewk and cooking and etc and etc all at the same time.

my clothes are all properly ironed out and hang inside the wardrobe. No longer do i need to wash up the dishes anymore :) cyrauntie is the BEST!

clearing my emotions

i kinda cleared my office table today of ALL my personal stuff. nono.. i didnt tender nor do i have intention to leave in the next 3 months. I am expecting Caleb to see daylight in May.

bk to clearing of my desk. tinking bk, i used to have deep attachment of my desk... (it took me 3 BIG boxes) to fill and carry home when i left my ex office.

i love to see familiar stuff on my desk.. esp when i feel stressed up during work. However, my spirit told me to let go... ALL... no longer do i wanna feel home at wk.. cos wk is definately NOT home.

no longer do i wanna feel cosy at wk.. no longer do i wanna stay even any second longer after office hrs.

why? the question is y? i know the answer.. deep down inside my heart.. the answer pops out loud and clearm

cos ppl here are ostentatious. deep down within my heart, i feel sad... and dishearted. Is that part of God's plan that ppl's heart get revealed over wk to me? i dunno.. really.. no idea.

well, m looking forward to my maternity leave from May to August. i wanna spend quality time with mama and caleb at home. After August, i take God's direction for me in my career... to continue in this ostentatious environment or proceed forward to somewhere.

jega's fish curry

Fish Curry (for 4 pax)
6 pcs of ikan thingiri/ angoli

Condiments
Ginger and garlic paste (2 inch of ginger, 5 garlic, I onion and 3 cashew nuts)
1 big onion (diced)
1 green/red chilli 9cut into 1/2)
A handful of curry leaves
A small handful of assam soaked in ¾ bowl of water
7 tablespoon of Baba’s fish masala
20 pcs of vendiyam

Preparation and cooking
1. Heat 5 to 7 tablespoon of oil
2. stir fry the vendiyam
3. add in the cut onions, chilli, curry leaves and stir fry turn the onion changes color slightly
4. add the baba’s fish masala
5. stir fry and let the paste boil
6. add the assam water
7. add in another ¾ bowl of water
8. add the tomatos (and lady’s fingers *optional)
9. let the paste boil
10. lastly add the fish and let the paste reboil again.