Caleb is OUT

caleb was born on 18 april 2006 at 1159 after 12 hours of labour :)

my water bag burst at 10pm on 17 and i was in shock. caleb was only 36 weeks then... nonethless i was rushed to the hospital and was induced for labour.

at about 6am, the pain was really killing me and i asked for the epidural. the dear needler poker only arrived at 6.45am and after then.... i could relax and even watch TV. hehe... however, the injection part do hurt a lil though

well, my dialation was SLOW and only managed to be ready for delivery at about 11am. haha

my proud and joy finally slided out of my tummy at 1159 =)

i was elated and also tired by the whole event.. i didnt even managed to take a gd look at my son before falling into a deep sleep.

by the time i awoke, i was blur and dizzy. it was only 4am on 18 then i managed to take a good glimpse of my darling.

hes got a high forehead, eyes and lips just like his daddy. well, hes got my NOSE... hehe... button nose ;P

am still adjusting to life now... Praise God for His mercy and love onto me and my family.

i prayed for breast milk and it also came today :)

Glory be to God.

the final countdown

the date is drawing real near... Caleb is seeing daylight real soon :)

i m excited. I have been carrying him in my tummy for the last 35 weeks.. hehe.. my lil darling is coming... i wonder who he will resembles. Just

it has been a journey of ups and downs.. from the beginning of my pregnancy todate. It has been my faith journey with God too.. trusting, leaning and couting on Him and rebuting all forms of fears which arose when my faith was slipping.

Caleb has not been able to move very much in my tummy now.. hes grown so BIG.. bigger than what i have expected though. The front of my body looks as if there was a crash helmet being strapped onto me. Ah ha... it looks also like a BIG soccer ball.

Lil darling has got his hicupps too... i guess he must be too greedy swallowing the fluid way too fast and rapid. i love the rhythm his hiccups are structured.. as if he is playing some kind of musicial instrument inside my tummy.

i m expecting him :)

God, myself and hammy

I m feeling troubled…

Last nite, it sets me off to thinking if I am on the right track by being “concerned” about my loved ones.

Perhaps, they would be well beta off without my constant naggings on food, nutrition and all. I guess what they need most is not my physical presence.. what do I gain in return for all of this?

I mean, who doesn’t enjoy nice good food? Who enjoys someone being overly obsessed with healthy stuff? Who enjoys having to care for the sick and weak?

BUT does anyone ever put their perspective in my position? Do they know that I yearn for good food too? I yearn for them to recover from their illness too? My deepest and most desired dreams are not of bags, shoes or clothing BUT too see all my loved ones are being cared for and are physically and spiritually healthy.

Do they ever understand? It pains my heart and it disappoints my soul. I wonder if Caleb will behave in the same manner towards my concern on him later on in life. If he does, then should I just leave him alone before he starts to detest and avoid me?

I wanna go … to a far away place… to an island where they is just me… and my deceased hammy.. and of cos God. Only He understands… how and what I m made of…