sliced fish soup

i love sliced fish soup.

not the fried ones, but the normal boiled sliced fish with clear soup.

slurp, i cant wait to go bk home and ta bao from the hawker centre opp my place for the delicious fish soup.

save for the days when i go out, i will alwaes have fish soup for dinner. The auntie selling fish soup can recognise me and remembers my order even. "Sliced fish bee hoon/mee suan w/o oil & lots of veg" and it only costs $3.

i love the taste of the slimy fish slices dipped in chilli padi. The clear and sweet taste of the soup with the bee hoon... gosh, its scrumptious.

i crave for more after every meal :P

All for the Glory of God

i was at Wesley Methodist Church last Saturday for their annual food fair.

was busy making jellies and puddings at my fren's place last fri to sell the next morning. Gosh, it was really tough work but we managed to make colourful and tasty jellies and puddings at the end of the day.

arrived at Wesley early in the morning and already the place was filled with bursting crowd.

was a bit apprehensive if we will be able to sell off our jellies and other snacks. In addition to that, anor fren baked over 200 muffins for us to sell too. I tell you, after seeing so many muffins, i was really a bit afraid that i might have to end up eating muffins for breakfast, lunch and dinner should the same cannot be sold.

I must confess that i underestimated God. Just about 1 hr after the operation of our stall, there was this lady who bought ALL our muffins. Glories to Him. Praise the Lord.

I was overjoyed just like a lil gal been given a huge ice cream to lick. Gradually, i see the jellies and puddings being sold and about 3pm, only 2 boxes of jellies left. Praise Him to the highest.

We managed to raised about $2k for the church and for His work. Hallelujah!!!

i have never operated a food stall but it just comes naturally that i can wail and shout for the Lord just to raise the funds. Never will i imagine myself to call out "jelly ah jelly".. Hahaha, those who have seen me there msut have thought that i was a mad cow :P

Priase Him!!! who knows my second career could be a hawker :)

We love because He first loved us

i used to be a person who is short fused and extremely hot tempered. There are times whereby i will scream and throw my tantrums at my family over a very trival matter.

i used to hate any foe very deeply to the extend that i dont ever want to see that person ever agin in my life.

these days, i have mellowed down. I guess when you read into His words, you gain enlightment. I learnt not to hate or detest. If Jesus can love me despite me being so sinful, so detestable and so rebellious, i dont see who gave me the right to judge or hate a person.

just yesterday evening, while i was bz preparing dinner for my family, my mom picked up the phone which is ringing and passed it over to me.

i was pissed, imagine both my hands which are oily and dirty and the hassle of washing and drying them b4 i can answer the call. Further, the call was from a housing agent enquiring on my flat which has already been rented out more than 2 months ago.

however, when i rushed over to pick up the call, not knowing wat came over me, i rem Jesus. He died for us even though we are not even worthy of His love. A sense of awesome peace diminished my anger. I even managed a courteous reply to that indian sounding agent over the line telling him that the falt has been rented out. He politely informed me that this is pretty common as my advertisement has been placed in the internet even though it has been rented out.

I was amazed at myself. I could have screamed at him and continue to feel irritated and angry but i didnt. This agent did nothing wrong except calling ppl like me for his livelihood. Who gave me the right to scream or be nasty to him? i felt ashamed of myself. If i were to put myself in his shoes, fancy working on a sun evening??

Fortunately, the Lord calmed me down at the 11th hour. Praise the Lord!!! all glories to Him only!!!

Praising the Lord

i am currently readind the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.

In chapter 12, he toks abt praising the Lord, something which i find very close to my heart.

Thanking and praising the Lord are the few sentences which begins our daily prayer. However, as time goes by, i found out thati constantly use "thank You and i praise You".. but i actually was thanking Him for the sake of thanking? I am sure that He must be wondering why i am thanking and praising Him everyday for? Haha, can u imagine a person thanking and praising you everyday for no specific reason???

As Rick Warren has penned, thank Him for a specific reason not thank Him for the sake of thanking Him.

This morning, i thank our holy Father for the merciful journey, the breakfast and the wonderful morning.

Have you?

Thank you

i thank the auntie who sells me fish soup in the market... i thank anyone who lends me a helping hand at wk.

but wait, do we ever thank God for all He has done for us???

when things dont go our way, we tend to qn Him. Qns like, y didnt You hear my prayers and y didnt You heal me starts to resurface.

it is so clinical, we only push the blame to God but we never thank Him when we receive more than wat we expected. When we do, we consider it "good luck" or simply our calibre to achievements.

In fact, we use Him as the spare tyre and never as the steering wheel.

honestly, i practise it myself thus i m not any less guilty than others.

this morning, i took an effort to thank Him for the mercyful journey to wk, i thank Him for the rest last nite and i thank Him for even giving me such a wonderful world to be in :)

May the HS always be in me to serve as a reminder to thank Him for all that he has done for me and for my loved ones.

makeup

was in the bus early this mrg and i saw this young lady putting on her makeup.

i was a lil amazed and amused as she doesnt seem bothered by all who are staring at her (including me). Haha, i take public transport once in a blue moon and she was my focus for at least 1/3 of my journey to office this mrg.

i see her with her powder, her lipstick and best of all, the mascara. Honestly, i m not a makeup person. I dont even own a lipstick but when i saw her brushing her eyelashes with the mascara on a moving bus, i really took my hat off her.

anyway, does guys really want their gals to be all powdered up (excluding metrosexuals)? does a gal really look her best wif all tat colors on her face?

i do not deny tat makeup does enhance an individual's features but do ladies really have to put on tat powdery thingy everyday to make themsleves look good? for occasions, yes, ladies shld at least put on min makeup but everyday?

Faith

i got a fren residing in sdyney. she has been there after her graduation.

She she attends service weekly and enjoy the sharing of testimonies during the worship. Was informed tt she will be getting married to her long time bf in taiwan and she was telling me tt she will need to consult the fortune teller for an auspicious date.

i was stunned for a moment until i tld her tt God created all the days and He blesses each and every day. she was hesitant and she tld me tt its beta to consult some1 than to place her life time happiness on faith.

why must ppl suffer and be at their lowest peak b4 they can be feverent for Christ? why cant they just go a lil more out and build their faith??? to be v honest, i used to be like them.. aiya, y place all ur hopes on JC whom u have nev met was one of my qns posted to my Christian frens previously... hahaha

Christians or not? are they having faith? If they are, wat level of faith do they place in our Holy Father? i m really eager to know.

wats the key to building faith then?

babies

i see pregnant ladies almost every where i go. In town, in the markets, etc.. is that a hint???

i been married for 2 years odd already. I love kids.. but i only love to PLAY with them... tats all... when it comes to changing their nappies, feeding & all ors... er er...

been thinking about babies recently... and am pretty excited about having MY one :P

the farnie thing about men is that when you asked them if they are ready, they agree 101% that they are more than ready to be a daddy. But when it comes to the process of making one...he hesitated ;-/

i got a cousin who have been married for the last 6 years without any kids. When i look at them, i tell myself that i really want to have kids of my own, esp when i m younger... she has been focusing on her career for all these years and i guess they are trying to concieve now without much results.

having kids is really a BIG committement. I can imagine sleepless nights, tired and aching bodies in the morning, no more holidays, no moare lazy sundays.. the noise pollution and the untidy and dirty house.. BUT why kids?

i can answer that now. Cos they look like YOU!!! and their lil cute innocent replies like "i Love you mommy" really boost your morale... hehe..

i m indeed looking forward to mine to holding mine in my arms :)

the hospital

i was in NUH yesterday with my mom for her routine followup.

as usual, we were there on time. I saw a doc walking towards the rm which we were waiting o/s carrying her lunch. It is either that she is so bz that she had to eat her lunch only at 2pm or she got something on during her lunch time.

anyway, the crowd o/s looks very restles. There is this ah beng looking young fellow... wearing the buddha t-shirt trying to look cool. Apart from him, all others are elderly.

It seems that gg to the doc will become a routine once you start aging. Most of he elderly were there al by themselves.

my mom used to visit the doc all by herself too until she got a stroke last yr. Fr then on, i felt that she will be pleased to have me for company.

my heart goes out to the others who are there all by themselves. I am sure that it will be a comfort if their children/relatives can be there for them too. Theya re all alone, waiting o/s the doc and even q-ing p up at the pharmacy.

i really have no ides how i will feel if later down the road, i have to go for a routine checkup in the hospital all by myself.

rite now even when i go for a blood test, i yearn for company.

my hamster

i used to have a lil darling at hm. his name is hammy.

he has been my lil darling for abt 2 yrs. He passed on abt 1 mth ago.

i didnt realised that i acutally missed him until i was cutting celery for soup yesterday. I was like.. oh yeah, beta save a lil for hammy and then i recalled, hammy is buried downstairs.

i cant bear to keep another pet.. not even a fish.. cos hammy's death really caused me much distress. I cant bear to let him go... i love to watch him eating the food, running on his wheels and even crawling all over me. He may seem small and un-noticeable but to me... hes my darling...

sigh, this is life. Even your pets will pass on someday. When i carried his carcass on my hands, i rem the time when i first bought him... his small lil body with a coat of winter white fur... gosh, he looks so adorable...

i miss him...

Life towards death

my boss passed away last Sunday.

i cant really describe how i feel now... i only know that i am in low spirit.. and that i miss him terribly. When i glance into his room now, it gives me the kind of feeling as if he is away on holiday.

my stress symptons started to resurface by themselves again... chest pain, lightheadness, loss of appetite, headache, muscle cramps.. etc

i remembered that last time i had these symptons was when my mom was warded in hospital last year. However, i can never forget that period where i was really feeling helpless and very depressed.

Back to my boss, he is the nicest man/boss i can ever find and it is indeed my loss now that he is gone. He was such a caring man. He cares about the amount of stress i can undertake, he guides me in my work, never raised his voice at me before.

i asked myself, if God is being fair to him? but am i in a capacity to judge? i cant right? i am not God.. i prayed for him fervently when he was in hospital that he can have a speedy recovery however, God seems to have other plans for him.

When i received news that he passed away, i was taken back. My prayers didnt work, y? is it cos he is not a Christian? tons of questions flashes across my mind. Then again, i can only pray, the rest is still up to God. In that case, is God being cruel to him? i cant help but asked. I am not angry with God but i am a lil disappointed.

When i saw my boss lying in the coffin, he looked so peaceful.. as if he is sleeping. I never had this kind of opinion about any deceased before (even my own dad). Even when he was wheeled into cremation, i prayed that a miracle will happen. it didnt... i lost a good boss and mentor.

i really miss him... at age 25, i have experienced the death of 3 closed ones and many other more downs in my life. Is this part of the best plan for me? can i say NO???

i read the bible, trying to find comfort in Him. He prompted me to Pslam 4:-

Answer me when I call to you,
O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer.

How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame?
How long will you love delusions and seek false gods ?
Selah
Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself
the LORD will hear when I call to him.

In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.
Selah
Offer right sacrifices and trust in the LORD.

Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us,
O LORD.

You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.

I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone,
O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.

am i losing my focus on Him? is his death more impt than God?