life in transit here

life is a transit here on earth, i cant describe if its gd or bad but for sure.... God planned this.

the bible tells us that heaven is eternal and that we will all go home someday.

if that is the case, life here is meant to be a training ground then?? will we be able to surf the net or go swimming up there????

i guess the thing which i cant let go is my emotions. Since life is a transit, why does GOd gives us emotions?

its a terrible and heart wrecking affair if your loved ones were to leave before you do... and it is even more heart heart breaking when they are not saved....

why cant life here be just robotic? wake up, eat, work, eat, work, eat and sleep.

why must one be allowed to see suffering either on oneself or on others?

i m tired.... exhausted.. happiness last for a min while disappointment last almost a lifetime...

Jesus has died and resurrect.. He has gone thru sufferings, humiliations, disappointments, hurt, persecutions etc....

are we as humans supposed to go thru the same before Judgment comes?

body odour

i guess most ppl have body odour.. whether it is properly concealed or not.

i was in the office doing my wk when it was almost 6pm when one of my colleague came over to my desk to tok about something. Immediately i smell the BO on her body. Given the state i m in, i tried to hold back my breath and hope that she will leave soon.

does ppl ever know that they will develop body odour after concealing sweat underneath their clothes etc??? if its a hot day o/s, just tke off your jacket when you step out for lunch so you wont stink when you are back or why not just use a deodourant for the same? i dont tink one will like the BO one have on the body rite? it isnt a very pleasant smell to being with.

i apply the deodourant whether i step out to the house. i dont want ppl to distance themselves away from me cos of a stench on my body.

cant ppl take more notice of their body themselves?

right or wrong

you are right or your are wrong BUT who is to judge except God???

most of the time, we try to do the RIGHT things.... but in our context, what is right and what is wrong???

i used to think that doing the right things mean having your desired repercussions and vice versa. but now, i dont think this applies anymore.

the other day i met this handicap man down the St near my office and it was pouring heavily. He couldnt even walk properly and i rushed over to shelter him with my brolly. He couldnt even hold the brolly at all, his fingers are deformed. I started to panic and was thinking of just sheltering him to his desired location instead of giving him my brolly.

some tots flashe through my mind. That means i get wet... and i miss my lunch. this is not my desired repercussion at all. Then in that case, which means, i shouldnt offer my help at all.

i tried asking him where he was going and i couldnt make out what he was saying. a few seconds later, there was this lady who ran towards him and she skillfully sloted the stem of the brolly in the berth between his arm and body and he was all nicely covered up.

i never felt so wrong.... i felt that i m so selfish... how can i ever think of my interest first when this poor man needs my help desparately. The lady who rushed over to give him a brolly didnt even carry anor brolly with her.

i prayed about it... though God is a merciful God but whenever i recall about this incident, i feel disappointed with myself.

imagining that i was him.. how would i feel when i m so helpless?

hug

i have a lil secret... i pray frequently and in my prayers, i often pray that the Father will hug and cradle me in His arms.

sometimes, i feel so weak and down and i really yearn for His hug. His words consoled me and i feel so much beta after His reassurance.

It amazing though, when i used to suffer from my panic attacks, i call and rush for a hug from my hus but these days, i yearn for a hug from my heavenly Father.

i feel like a lil gal calling onto His name and requesting that He lift me up and give me the warmest hug ever.

i know that He is with me this very moment that i am penning this and He definately knows my heart's desire.

the worship team was singing "More Love More Power" before the sermon yesterday. Yeah, more love and more power and more of Him in my life.

emotions

i cant help but write about this again...

ppl get happy, upset, depressed, anxious and all others all the time. I guess the only issue now is to learn how to deal with your emotions.

at wk especially when you CANT afford to offend anybody... emotions are esp hard to deal with. How will ppl look and think of you when you blow your top at them for something which they consider trivial??? even if someone were to accuse you of something which you have enver committed, can u really do anything about it????

after working like over 10 yrs of my life, i hate my emotions. Sometimes, i just wish that it will go away, make me a block of wood... or some pc of steel.

why feel angry and pissed of over wk which is just a money making tool in my life????

a colleague of mine just blew her top at a person wif power today over something which has happened a few wks bk. persoanllyit isnt healthy to bottle your feelings cos the moment you let is go after trapping it for sometime, it gets worse.

I used to be a v angry person... petty... but i have learnt to let it all go the hard way.

C'mon, wats the fuss of being angry all the time? does it help u in anything? No, it doesnt, it fact, it makes you even more miserable.

i just pray that all my loved ones around me be able to abandon all their angry feelings, disappointment, depressions and cast them all to our Father in heaven. I just want them to be hapy and loved.

cars

ever wondered why men are crazy over having a car?

i think the objective of a vehicle is to get urself transported to and fro your destinations.

i heard from my cousin in law that my cousin wants to change his car again. This time round to a 2 litre car. The reason he gave to her was that the depreciation for their current car is too high.

Really, taking into account the higher coe, road tax, insurance and also the petrol consumption for a bigger car, the difference in depreciation amount cant even cover the above.

yes, having a car is more definately more comfortable and convenient BUT if having a car means that 1/3 of your salary goes to feeding it, then u may as well work for a car co so that you can look, feel and kiss the cars daily.

I got anor friend's ex. He drives a toyota saloon. My God, he doesnt want to drive/park near lorries, vans and/or big vehicles. Wats the FUSS? its just a CAR!!! i wonders if he washes his car daily???

I wintessed how my husb who used to "groom" his car weekly. He spends the entire Sun, bathing, moisturing and dolling his silly car. Thoses precious time can be put to greater use by spending it to build r/s wif ur loved ones apart from wasting the same on a CAR???

and of cos, i dont exclude women who love their cars too. I guess there is a limit to everything. But getting too obsessive over a car is wat i considered to be immature.

Washing your car is a must but grooming it is anor story altogether.

God & me

God created us to glorify Him.

well, to be very honest, it is easier said than done.

Personally, i try to be gracious and have a forgiving heart to the extend that i have decided to just ignore everything surrounding me. It just me that by ignoring, it soothes my heart not to stress itself.

No one is perfect, i am not perfect too myself. I cant expect anyone around me to be either. BUT it is the sinful nature in me just to expect a lil more out of the most.

i used to have a maid. I was v domineering over her. Last nite when i tot over about having anor maid in a few mths time, i tld myself that this time round, i will treat her with grace, patience and love. Afterall, she has left her home country to come here to wk as a maid. I am sure that she misses her family terribly too.

I am aso waiting to leave my job now.... in about 9 more months. I realised that the death of my boss is really too tough to take. I miss him... his words and his handwriting. I miss the way he advices me and the small talks we had. Even though he wasnt saved eventually, i prayed thet God's comfort, grace and mercy be upon his family.

Back at home, i am praying really hard for salvation. Now i truely understood how stubborn i used to be b4 i was saved. Looking at my mom, i thank her and praise the Lord for giving her the strength and grace to bring both me and my bro up. Though we wasnt rich but at least we were covered bodily and full all the time. Praise the Lord!

The Lord is wonderful and truely amazing. I long to see His face but i also confess that i have not been obedient. I am not able to behave like Christ, his amazing grace, love and mercy.

Shame on me....

unwell feeling

well, since the beginning of my pregnancy into the 8 week, i really feel the "change" in my body.

i can no longer shop, walk or stand for a long period of time. It seems as if i aged by 10 yrs.

food seems to be constantly on my mind and i cant tell apart from a stomach ache or just feeling sick in the stomach.

i didnt expect pregnancy to be so tough and ???@@###

my only wish now is to get it over and done with and get ample of rest. Even getting rest now is a tedious chore cos i tend to oversleep which will result in being so lethargic.

advices from moms tel me to REST, REST & REST...

i used to have a nice and sweet boss, but its ust too bad that he passed away a few months bk.

anyway, i got a NEW boss now. A LADY!!!

shes married and middle age and of cos pleasnt looking. However, i m still struggling to get used to her working style.

well, perhaps, my ex boss has spoilt me so much by being such a sweet gentleman that i detest working for woman.

shes for first lady boss and she seems relatively alright. I wouldnt say shes fantastic but shes just okie.

there are certain things which she cant make any decisions but i do admire her for her way of handling difficult and mentally insane clients.

i am a woman myself and would not want tbe be seen as difficult too... i guess my boss doesnt want too and i can see that she makes an effort to check out how i m at times.

well, women or men???

inlaws

i have inlaws just like most of us here.

my inlaws are nice ppl of cos.... just a lil more concerend abt my hubby and me like all other inlaws.

wat do i expect fr my inlaws? in actual fact, (i hope my hus doesnt read this), i hope they leave me and him alone. Leaving us alone doesnt mean that we are forsaking them but it just simply mean that they leave decisions for us to make. Afterall, we are already in our twenties and should be able to accept any repercussions for any decision which we make.

sadly, it can be due just to a certain event, like a wedding that can turn an inlaws r/s sour. my advice for a wedding is just to make your "own" decisions cos its UR wedding not theirs. God is fair, they have gone thru theirs.

i have got a fren who is currently in the midst of preparing her wedding. Well, from the looks of it, she is in the exact same postion as i was a year plus ago.

church la, dinner la and even the photo studio. Haha, i was telling her, this is only the BEGINNING cos there are more to come.

i was extremely stressed out during my own wedding cos i had to take it so much "concerns" from my inlaws. Thus, i promise myself that i will never interfer with my child's wedding next time. God is fair, i had mine and its my child's turn.

like my fren, this is only the BEGINNING, i m prepared for more concerns from my inlaws when the baby is out.

BUT i definately want to name my own child. Nobody is going to take this prerogative away from me.

i guess the best part of my inlaw r/s is that i actually dreamt of my fil last nite... gosh, i dreamt that my fil tried to interfer in where i was going for my shopping :O

thank God its only a nightmare. but on a neutral basis, just like i find it hard to get along with them, i am sure that theya re finding me weird and difficult as well.

amazing grace is what i need most now.

feeling.....

i feels sick, lethargic and really down.

didnt expect pregnancy to be so tough... and its indeed God's grae that i managed to survive till now.

i was feeling fine and good during my first 7.5 weeks but i have no idea what came over me during this weekend. I cant even climb out of bed and i feel so damn sick. Be it whether i am hungry or full, i fel dizzy and sick.

can u imagine that i acutally slept for more than 12 hours a day and i still feel tired and totally washed out the next mrg.

Lord, i pray that your grace and mercy be upon me and the baby. Father, may you continue to cradle us in your arms and nurse us like babies.