sufferings of the non believers

i received 2 pc of bad news last evening. The same shattered and dampened the spirit of the upcoming CNY which is 2 days away.

my uncle and cousin have been diagonsed with pancreas and blood cancer respectively.

i was shocked and taken aback. Both men have slogged and worked for their respective families all their lives.

my uncle has got an only son, david. david has been working overseas for about 5 yrs and just returned recently. i can imagine the stress which he is undergoing. my poor auntie, the woman who stood behind my uncle all these years is definately very depressed. In fact, i hvae never seen her depressed and down before. They were all there for my mom when she got her stroke almost 2 yrs back. But now, i fell so helpless that i cannot help them in any way. God says, I am the provider of ALL. Does He provide for the non-believers as well? Can He extend His mercy to my uncle's family then?

As for my cousin, a father of three lovely gals, what lesson does God wants him to learn thru his illness? i am clueless...

i m lost... for now... my heart aches for both of them and their families. i wanna Lord, my heavenly Father to tell me that its just a nightmare, i wanna His reassuring arms ard me... Father, you hear me? You hear my cries for You...

God allows suffering to His children for lessons to be learnt.. but Y?

i was reading 2 Cor 11:16 onwards whereby Paul relates the sufferings which he has undergone.

yes, our parents allow us to fall and then be picked up again to learn lessons after lessons. However, their love for us is so overwhelming that no matter what wrong we have committed, their grace overshadowed our mistakes.

God, our heavenly Father, i guess is definately filled with more love and grace than our parents on earth. Well, God is sinless and He is the creator of all.

However, this mrg as i was reading the sufferings which Paul has under went, i felt a lil perturbed. Y? Father, you allow sufferings and i m sure Your heart aches to see Your children suffer? What is the lesson that You wanted Paul to know that He has to undergo so much suffering and utimately death before Paul can learn?

we as Your children do repent and beg for mercy. Did Paul beg for mercy too? does Your heart shatter at Paul's suffering?

Father, enlighten me.. Let me know that Your heart shatters at the sight of our suffering? Let Your mercy be upon us. U said in Your words, those who judge without mercy shall be judged without mercy too. Then if that is the case, why did Paul suffer and then die without mercy? or his objective as Your prophet is to deliver Your words but then does he deserve what he got at the end? then is everyone supposed to suffer and die before receiving Your promise in heaven?

the temptation of food

my hus loves food. in fact, he loves deep fried and food which is high in fats, sugar and carbo.

i m truely puzzled why he is born like this.. or rather how come he can enjoy food which is oily, sweet and makes ur tummy fill so disgusted.

anyway, he is over 15 kg overweight and has been diagnosed with high cholestral. the doc has warned him against food which are high in fats and sugar but it does seem to register in his brains.

Lord, i pray that you open his eyes and make him receptive to Your words. Father, bestow in him your wisdom and let him take proper care of the temple of Christ. Let him be aware that he is what he eats.

all these, i pray in Jesus's name, Amen.

Lunar New Year

its is the time of the year whereby the chinese celebrate the Lunar New Year!!!

this year is a year for both me and my hus which we have to distribute "red packets" for the very first time. Hehe.. well, my hus is not very thrilled over this as his pocket is going to bleed. Too bad, Caleb is only coming along in May this year which he will miss the collecting of the red packets for now. i guess he is not too distrubed since he wont know the real value of $$ till he is much older.

have been collecting ang baos for the last 24 years of my life and its time that i m repaying the kindess of my relatives and frens.

next year will be more pleasant with Caleb's share of red packets coming in... HAHA.. at least can recover some $$ from his share

grace

i attended the study on the book of Philemon last thru and last nite.

well, what raelly caught my attention was what the pastor said nearing the end of the study.

"grace is unfair, unreasonable and illogical". satan never understood what grace is. Thus he can never understand why our God is so gracious, so merciful and full of love.

You sin, God forgives.. no matter how many times it is... no matter how wrong u went. God's grace is far greater than the depth of the deepest sea and highest mountains.

i pondered on this point and last nite and even at work this mrg. God forgave me for for numerous mistakes and errors committed. Cant i even learn from his grace and forgive and forget those who has trespassed against me? cant i show them the genuine love which God has never failed to exhibit towards me despite who i am? is it so difficult to be Christ like?

my resolution for this year is to be able to forgive like who Christ forgave and love like how Christ loved..

Lord, i pray that your amazing grace and love be upon me.

i m stressed

i m feeling stressed... something which i been not feeling for the last 6 months.

i wonder why? work have been hard and tough... vol of my wk is high...

i dun wanna caleb to suffer with me thur this. He should be enjoying his growing months in my tummy comfortably not having to bear any part of my stress.

i want to give him a comfortable stay in my small tummy :)

sigh, i got stress both at home and at work. How lovely it will be if God gives His children a stress relieving portion. Thus whenever i feel stress, just by sprinkling the portion will ease my burdened hard and take away all stresses.

caleb is kicking

caleb darling is kicking me... hehe.. inside my tummy... his home sweet home for now :P

i love him.. really.. now i finally understood a mother's love for her child and i yearn to hold and cuddle caleb in my arms.

caleb has got a weird schedule of his daily activities. It seems that he sleeps most of the time but is pretty active during the evenings. His boxing and kicking class normally commence in the evenings and he can be pretty violent. I saw my skin being "kicked" and retracted bk onto my tummy. Hehe.. hes a fighter :)

whenever i got my hus to touch caleb, that boy will keep very still. Well, i guess caleb is scared of his daddy (foreign object). When he is kicking, i put my palm over my tummy but then this boy still continues his exercise. But when my hus put his hand over my tummy, caleb turns silent.

Almightly Lord Father, i pray that you will continue to keep caleb safe and happy in my tummy and that the delivery will be a smooth and caleb can be brought onto earth a happy and holy child.

He replied

i was really angry yesterday till i actually lose my enormous appetite for lunch.

anyway, it all evolved ard work and human which is all the more i feel unnecessary.

frankly, i m not angel. i work for $$$ which is the consideration for work done and responsibilities committed at work.

i have this particular colleague of mine whom i guess we have a lil misunderstanding which snowballed to ICE BERGS yesterday.

apparently, she was very unhappy and dissatisfied with me over what i tot was very trivial. she penned an email addressed to me and our immediate boss over her dissatifaction. Of cos, i did reply but with the HS in me, i addressed all her unhappiness with LOVE.

Just before lunch after i came back from a meeting, i realised that she had penned another email in reply and my immediate boss had intervened, i guess my boss was too horrified and disturbed by the most trivial issue being brought up.

apparently, my colleague tinks that i pocketed her files while i collect bundles of files which include hers. Well, to be very honest, i earn a flat salary, that is regardless if i handle ONE file or ONE HUNDRED files, i only earn a flat fee. Further, i am NOT the HARDWORKING award winner of my office afterall. Anyway bk to what she said, she was very unhappy that some of her files have gone MIA after I collected them for her. Well, for me, i did apologise for mixing up files after collection in my earlier email.

i asked myself, what is she thinking in her mind? i m really clueless. And of cos, i shouldnt judge her with my blurred vision.

NOW, God answered what i prayed for yesterday. How to forgive and forget, it is found in Col 3:13 You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

it makes sense to me last nite when i flipped over to this verse. God has forgave me for all my terrible mistakes which i have committed and whoever gave me the right to be angry with anor human esp when all of us are called to be at peace with one another.

i will be praying on this... till i get out of the anger trap

anger

i was so angry this mrg. What and who was i angry with?

myself? haha, yeah... it was my actions which lead me to my anger this mrg.

what was my actions then? My action was just to be nice and helpful to my fellow colleagues who seems to take it the wrong way.

God, You know, You hear my cries and see me. You created me in your light... what do you want my response to be then? to be angry and throw my files? to be graceful and reflect on my actions again?

Lord, talk to me now....

How do you end the year???

Ecclesiates 3:10-12

10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

this is the sermon given by my pastor during the watchnight service on new year's even. I agree that its kinda late but beta late than nothing. *hehe*

He had used "EMIT" which is the word "TIME" to help us focus on how to plan positively for 2006.

1. to have positive expectations
Phil 4:8
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is
excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things

2. to have plan making

3. to carry out intentional actions
2 Cor 9:6
Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows
generously will also reap generously.
Ecc 3:11-12
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the
hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12
I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while
they live.

4. Trust God
1 Cor 3:6-9
6I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7So neither he who
plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8The
man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded
according to his own labor. 9For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's
field, God's building.

men and their toys

my hus has rekindled his interest for his long time toy Mr "Gundam" recently.

our study table is now filled with boxes and the skeleton of Mr Gundam(s). He has got like 6 of them now and they seem to look very bored inside the display cabinet. To add to his collection, he purposely went back to his mom's place to get his baby gundams to complete his gundam family. However, i do agree that the baby gundams look more appealing than the adult ones.

i really cannot understand man. He went with me on the pretext of shopping for Caleb but at the end of the day, he paid hundred over Mr Gundams. The moment he reached home, he rushed to get his gundams up and standing.

i m expecting to see more members of the gundams coming into my way soon :P