anger and peace

i am a pax with a very quick temper.. something whcih i am never proud of.. in fact, ashamed of.

this afternoon, the straw on my back broke and i was really damn upset and furious. I could feel my BP rising and my heartbeat beating as if i was running a marathon.

then i left my desk and managed to compose myself in anorther room. Gosh, i dont awnt my bb to feel my anger. i feel so sorry that i threw my tantrum esp over something known as "work".

to me, work is purely for $$ to survive thus why am i getting angry over work? i tried to ask myself this qn and i realisd that its not work, but the attitude of my colleagues taken in their work.

well, God created all beings to be different and too bad, i just have to learn how to let go and perform my best at work.

May the spirit of God be with me always that i can learnt how not to focus on ppl but on Him alone.

baby caleb or corrine

was at the gynae yesterday.

saw my bb via the ultrasound. he looks skeletal and a bit scary actually. hehe :P of cos i wont disown him la.

wow, he has really grow, can see all his fingers and toes.. all well formed. my gynae gave me a shock when he counted the fingers... for a second, i tot bb only has 4 on the right.. hehe.. false alarm la... hes a healthy one with 10 fingers and toes on both hands and feet respectively.

i am so proud to see him and of cos the first question i popped was "boy or gal". my gynae reply was "mai mai lai la" y u so kean jiong. Haha, i am dead curious if my hunch is correct and as his mouse moved further down, i saw the lil one actually crossing his leg... my God, cutie cutie, just like mommy. I crossed my legs when i sleep as well... i m a proud mommy.

well, we saw a lump of flesh, i think at his private area but my gynae didnt dare to confirm he is caleb as he is sleeping cross legged. My hus of cos, said he is definitely caleb though i can tell that he is disappointed.

both of us prefer a gal and my hus has already prepared a gal's name for her- corrine. Caleb was my choice cos i just got that hunch that he is a boy.

anyway, will be going for a detailed scan on my 20 weeks and by then, we shld be able to see if he is caleb or corrine distintively.

am looking forward to the scan... caleb or corrine???

How do women juggle work & family

I always wonder how do women ever juggle between work & family.

in the morning, you wake up, prepare breakfast, try to settle the kid or your aged parent and leave for work.

you reach the office, make urself a glass of water and start the day with your emails followed by your daily work. In the midst of all this, you get calls which you have no idea what the caller wat the caller is talking about and your boss who calls u into her office or pops over to ask you endless questions.

your work is heavily piled up on your desk. Your colleagues are too engrossed in their own work than even lifting up a finger except to deny all responsibility. You wonder if your are working in a department or with a sole proprietor.

at 12pm, you break for lunch and after lunch, the same cycle continue.

you knock off at 6pm, u either buy or prepare dinner for the entire family. When you reached home, you realised that the floor is dirty, the kitchen sink is filled with debris and the trashbag is overflowing.

you proceed to clean the house, boil some fresh water and catch a chat with your loved ones. With a kid, you got to play with him, feed him, and change him into his pajamas.

before you head to bed, you finally take a shower and if you are not tired, read the bible before you finally lay your body to rest.

As for the weekend, you wake up a usual and go to the market for some veg. U cook lunch and dinner and in the middle of this 2, find time to clean the house further.

Just before that, you found that your hus has not bathed and is still bz on his laptop. He told you that life is so stressful and he has got loads of work to complete before his customers start chasing him again.

In your sleep you hear him grinding his teeth and you were woken up by the same.

Are we feeling even more stressed than men? Yes, we work for others for a living and we do not have to ans to the rental and utilities bills BUT does that also means that we are less stressful???

I have been carrying out this routine in my life for at least 1 year and I m pretty sick of it.

Every individual has got their respective roles to play BUT women carry a heavier burden on their shoulders.

staying happy

how does one stay happy?

be having loads of $$$, a high flying career and a happy and complete family???

NONONO, thats my ans.

i guess the only way to stay happy in this modern world is to live simply.

i m expecting my first child and there are loads of temptation to buy. I would love to give my child the BEST but after much pondering, i have decided to just buy the necessities (milk bottles etc). As for the cot and stroller, to God's grace, i gotton them either free or at a very low price.

I thank God for all this. My hus was still very worried that the child is going to be a financial burden even before he was born but now... looks like jsut by liveing simply and being contented with what we have, we are looking forward to the arrival of our lil one.

Thus, i m happy. Though, i dont fly high in my career and am not an excellent housewife, but i m still very contented with what i have now.

i dont need 10k in my bank account to make me smile. Even a call to my ex colleageus and her tip on breast feeding brightens up my day.

God is here with me.. all the time and i thank Him for His kindess and graciousness.

i m back

here i am, 15 weeks into my pregnancy.

well, the first 12 weeks are tiring but praises to God, no morning sickness though.

I rem having puke twice in my entire 3 mths, once when i enter the toilet with a pungent fragrance and the other when i smell some BO.

Anyway, my first appt with the gynae, i saw a tiny heartbeat which is only 1 mm i size. 2nd appt, the baby grew to 10mm (1cm). My last appt, the baby is 50mm (5cm) and i can the lil one's head, body and fingers. Also, my baby was scratching his/her face with his/her fingers. Hehe, its is indeed very refreshing and thrilling. In fact, i look forward to see my gynae so that i can get to see the lil one.

Well, the 2nd and 3 mths was the worst. I felt constantly tired and aching. I could not eat very well ... only take small bites as and when i feel like it. No FISH though.. not even fish and chips. The sight of them turns me off.

I got a feeling that baby is a boy from day 1. Got no idea why i felt that way but am a lil disappointed though. Both me and hubby prefer a gal leh. But nev kind la, its a BLESSING from God and we take whatever. To God be the glory. Who knows it might be a SHE at the end of the day :P

i was at the maternity store yesterday at Suntec. Wow, the dresses there are beautiful. I ended up with a dress and a pair of pants which come up to $160.00. Obviously, my baby's dad wasnt that pleased but he doesnt really have a choice now since i cant really fit into my normal pants anymore.

i do get backaches and stomach cramps whenever i stand or walk for too long, thus i am behaving like an old hag now. Lunching in my office and refraining from walking too often.

I must admit that pregnancy is tough but i enjoy the process though cos i anticipate a healthy and happy baby coming my way soon :)